Turning 30!!!

This is a pre decided post.. just to jot down a milestone in my life... My feelings about it.

First of all.. turning 30 is making me clean my eyes .. last was my 25th birthday that I celebrated with my family esp. My papa
It's been 5 years.. making me realise the fact that you left us so early.. papa I am missing you a lot since many days.. constantly I am seeing you in my dreams.. this is a strange feeling. A person you are talking to in dreams and you wake up to the reality that you can never ever talk to them. I was happy in my dream that you have come back. Only tears do come back. :-(
I wish you could see Vaanya and Priyanshi. Koko jitna pyaar karte kya inn dono se. I wish you could talk to sahil like you talk to ashu and monu. I wish we could sit, talk and walk together like we used to do. Just the two of us. I wish you could see me driving.
I guess you are there ... That's why you make your presence felt.. in this house.. in my dreams... In koko's words.. sometimes in Priyanshi sometimes in Vaanya... in my way of driving... In my way of thinking..
You are there but still I miss you papa. :-(

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The new assignment 2024-2028

2024... This is an year of redemption..  Two solo trips.. off course official ones.. but both helped redeem my independence and at the same time fondly put my dependencies on the forefront.   I am dependent on my family for love and I feel incomplete when they are not around. At the same time, independence of my soul won over me..  For this new assignment, customs, I have to buckle up. Some saying it's one of a kind posting, others saying it's too difficult, some pushing me to embrace the challenges and others, as always, judging me.  I have to reinvent myself, aim at the right things in life, keep my sanity intact and just go with the tide and cross the river. Today very unexpectedly, I met my senior from present office at new assignment and she treated me so well, helped me by putting a good word about me to her senior was a gesture of humanity and compassion.. thank you God for all of this.  My super super super senior also helped me so well to get this ...
Read more

My dil goes hmmmmm

Chubby cheeks... Dimple chin. Rosy lips.. no teeth within.. Black hair.. very fair... Eyes are cute.. lovely too... Momma's girl..Is that you.... कैसे मुझे तू मिल गयी, किस्मत पे आये ना यकीन। My DD has arrived and the I am blessed beyond my Expectations.. feelings of the eternity have come to my eyes... My family seems complete..
Read more

This too shall pass

बुरे वक्त की अच्छी बात ये होती है की वो भी गुजर जाता है। कभी कभी कहीं भाग जाने का जी करता है।  जो अभी हो रहा है, वो क्यों हो रहा है। जो मैं कर रही हूं, वो क्यों कर रही हूं। क्या वो नही हो सकता जो मैं चाहती हूं, या फिर वो जो सही है। झूला झूलना भी कुछ ही समय अच्छा लगता है, फिर चक्कर सा आने लगता है। लगता है कि एक तरफ क्यों नहीं हो जाता।  क्या मां बनने के बाद बस मां ही बने रहना पड़ता है। क्या जो चाहते हैं वो नही कर सकते। जो दिल चाहता है, जो की सही है।  दिल में इतना दर्द क्यों है,  जो आजतक किया है,  जो कर रही हूं, वो पूरा क्यों नही पड रहा है। क्या मैं कुछ गलत कर रही हूं,  कोई मुझे समझ क्यों नही रहा है कोई मुझसे प्यार क्यों नही कर रहा है भीड़ में भी तनहा क्यों हूं मैं। ये पल भी बीत जायेगा। फिर उसके बाद जो पल आएगा, वो कैसा आएगा। बुरा होगा या कुछ ठीक हो जायेगा।
Read more