straight from the heart

They say live your life freely with no regrets... They say do what you truly want..  They say you only get what u truly deserve..  I am a follower of all of this.. . I live my life on my own terms.. I do what I truly want.. But sometimes, when u look back, u do have certain regrets.. though u made your own choices.. though they seemed correct at that point of time.. though they were all over ambitious.. though u worked hard for them.. but u still regret.. for not ending up being where u thought yourself to be. Regret for giving up so early.. not being strong headed as much as the goal required.. may be u had plan B that shown up at the wrong time... On the way.. I discovered that the process was worth some more..  and I am unable to accept that I have failed.. I would like to accept that I have gained in that process more that what I have lost.. some days the loss seem bigger.. some days It feed that it was destined to be this way only. .. But letting go .. forgiving yourself and reami

Learning AI had been fun . This piece of writing it created some days ago and I waited for for my seedlings to appear.. this here is the poem and my seedlings for memories... From a tiny seed, you grew so true, With love and care, I watched over you. Through sunshine and rain, you spread your wings, And now, you're a vision of beautiful things. Your petals, delicate and bright, Reflect the love that took flight. For every effort, every tender touch, Resulted in this blossom, oh so much. Like a seedling that grows with care, Love, too, needs patience to bear. And now that you've bloomed, come alive, I know our love will forever thrive. So here's to you, my sapling dear, May you grow tall, without a fear. And may my love always be your guide, A beacon of warmth, by your side.

I don't want my kids to grow up so fast... I wish I could feel like the first time I held u in my arms .. I love when u tell me ki didi se sabse jyada pyaar krti h aur uske baad papa se.. fir mujhse. I love the way we were many years back... when I see those memories in my phone... how u used to wake up your Didi.. Those moments, these moments of your infantry and childhood are etched in my heart.. I wish sab aise hi yaad rahe..  I love to see both of u play together, being friends.. I must say Vaanya got a loving sister and Adira got a caring Didi... I am so happy and welled up.. when I see your childhood.. like mine was.. when my elder bro used to pamper me so much and younger was always loving me .  Ofcourse every emotion is still intact but times together.. will never come back...  So my kids don't grow up.. enjoy your childhood to the fullest... love each other, some unreal fights, some sharing some caring, some play, more joy.. be blessed always. 

Sounds like khonsla ka ghonsla... One Sided Lovers Association I think each one of us.. 80's kids are a part of OSLA at some point of time in their lives..   Going by the memoirs i have heard and my own life story.. starting from our teens.. or pre teens.. when the hormones start to develop.. we tend to let the feeling go out..  in the form of crush.. or a little harmless fixation/imagination. It started with pre teens class, the special trait that attracted in the boy was that they were toppers (yes not one but two)..that was all in my head and all good vibes only.. In the teens, it was the boy next door... Never found the courage to clear the mess in my head... May be it was all the fantasy world made up by me.. it was 2-3 years long till there was next. At the end of teens, in college, he was the best of my friend... It was heavenly... it was quite strong.. spoke my heart out.. friendzoned.. lived in my fairy -tale world for years .. hoping of a ray of hope .. my friend once tol

बरसात की पहली बारिश की तरह , मीठी मीठी खुशबू लिए हुए.. पावन, पवित्र। एक ठंडी हवा का झोंका, मन में तितलियां उड़ना वो एक झलक का इंतजार, वो एक कॉल की बेताबी, एक झलक की आस, एक नजर की इच्छा,  कितने कम समय में किसी जज़्बात का परिपक्व होना। वो खिड़की के किनारे लंबी लंबी कविताएं लिखना, वो बिना किसी बात के मुस्कुराना, कुछ सोचकर कुछ बोलकर फिर चुप कर जाना।  कैसे कब क्यों कोई जवाब नही। क्या देख कर क्या सोचकर, कुछ नही पता। बस हो गया। जिंदगी बीत गई, लेकिन पहले प्यार को देखने के लिए पीछे मुड़ने की जरूरत नहीं। वो तो साथ सा ही चल रहा है। साए की तरह धूप छांव में साथ आ जाता है। पहला प्यार कोई शख्स नही है, वो तो बस एहसास है। मन में खुशी है, कि किसी को चाहा है, खुद से ज्यादा चाहा है, प्यार किया है। और बदले में कुछ चाहा नही कभी। पहला प्यार कितना पाक, कितना निस्वार्थ।  अगर कोई पलट कर न चाहे तो वो पहला प्यार बस मेरा, मैंने बांटा नही किसी से, मेरे साथ रहेगा हमेशा, मेरे मन के पास।  पहले प्यार की कोई महत्वकांक्षा नही है, उसको आपके आप में संतोष है, अपने प्यार को हमेशा खुश देखना चाहता है। कहीं भी, किसी के भी साथ। 

This post is for all the trophies, certificates, awards and rewards being given to me till date... I have one song for them in my mind:- "Jahan main jaati hun wahin chale aate ho, chori chori mere dil mei samate ho,  ye to bataoo ki tumm mere kaun ho" The open shelves in my house long for them.. i just fall for them whenever I see the opportunity.. they are never enough.. I always feel that this department has not churned my talents well ... Or i am an over achiever.. i just always want to achieve and challenge myself... And be happy... Do aur certificates.. aajao aa jao.... Mere pass aa jao...💕💕 I have shifted to new home. Some of them are still there.. i just miss them... Jaldi hi unhe le aaungi yahan....ghar Khali sa lag raha hai... Meri betiyo ki umar aa gayi awards and rewards kiii lekin unki maa ka moh nahi chuut raha 😜😜   I can be a content-writer too.. or I can be a teacher. Or a investigator.. or a manager... I can be anything u know... I am just so so so happy .